As I closed the hotel room door, it isn’t much, but it will do for the night. At least I can work from here and make some extra money to get me to California quicker. My greyhound leaves in the morning, and the station is right across the street. I don’t know what I will be doing there, but anything is better than what I had. I can never go back to Johnathan, not now, not ever. When taking public transportation is this much of a joy, I know I will never submit my life to anyone again. If only I weren’t alone, it would be so much better. In all honesty, I wish I could take Maria with me. I feel the need to save her from the life that I know she will endure with me gone.
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Her hand intertwined with his as he succumbed to the dreams that took away his pain. She promised him that if he ever needed her, he could find her in his dreams. As the dawn approaches, he cries to stay, but his time to join her isn’t now. With a small kiss on his forehead, she promises to meet him once again when the moon kisses the sun goodnight. I will love you now and forevermore.
As I sit her today feeling overwhelmingly sad about the world around us, life, and loss, this song comes to mind. The one line that catches my breath in the back of my throat is “A heart that’s been broken is a heart that’s been loved.” I often wonder why me, why does my heart hurt when I think of loss, it’s because I was loved. My heart was loved so deeply that the loss still aches all these years later.
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